Empathy, the foundation of strong engineering teams

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. In the context of engineering teams, it means recognizing the challenges, frustrations, and motivations of teammates, stakeholders, and users. It’s about listening actively, considering different perspectives, and fostering an environment where people feel heard and valued.

Empathy is often overlooked in technical fields, but it is one of the most powerful drivers of collaboration and innovation.

Why empathy matters in agile teams

Agile teams rely on communication, trust, and collaboration to deliver great products. Without empathy, misunderstandings, misalignment, and conflicts become common.

A developer who empathizes with a product manager understands that shifting priorities are sometimes necessary. A QA engineer who empathizes with developers sees the pressure they face to meet deadlines. A product manager who empathizes with developers will recognize the unpredictability of a development task. A team that cultivates empathy works together more effectively, making decisions that consider the needs and constraints of everyone involved.

Empathy also plays a key role in user-centric development. When engineers take the time to understand the real pain points of users, they build better solutions. Features aren’t just delivered to spec, they are crafted with a deep understanding of how they will impact the end user’s experience.

The importance of emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence (sometimes called “EQ”) is a critical skill for engineers and engineering managers alike. It encompasses self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, social skills, and empathy. A team with high emotional intelligence can navigate challenges with maturity, resolve conflicts constructively, and maintain a positive team culture.

Engineering managers must lead by example and embrace that they are a role model. Teams look to their leaders for cues on how to handle feedback, deal with setbacks, and collaborate under pressure. A manager who demonstrates emotional intelligence fosters a psychologically safe environment where team members feel comfortable expressing concerns and sharing ideas.

How engineering managers can improve empathy

An engineering manager has the unique ability to shape team culture and create an empathetic work environment. This starts with active listening: ensuring that team members feel heard and understood. Instead of jumping to solutions, managers should ask clarifying questions and acknowledge emotions before offering guidance.

Another effective approach is leading by vulnerability. When managers openly discuss challenges they’ve faced and how they’ve grown from them, they set a precedent for openness and honesty. Encouraging feedback in both directions, allowing engineers to share their thoughts on leadership, also strengthens trust and fosters an empathetic culture.

Promoting team bonding activities, such as regular one-on-ones, retrospectives, and casual conversations, helps build deeper connections. When engineers see their teammates as people rather than just coworkers, they become more considerate of each other’s perspectives and needs.

Empathy with cross-functional teams

Empathy doesn’t stop within the engineering team. Building strong relationships with product managers, designers, customer support, and other stakeholders is essential for creating well-rounded products. When engineers understand the pressures product managers face in prioritization, they approach discussions with more flexibility. When they recognize the importance of design, they collaborate more effectively instead of treating UI and UX as an afterthought.

Cross-functional empathy also reduces friction. For example, instead of viewing customer support escalations as an annoyance, engineers who empathize with support teams see them as valuable insights into real user issues. This perspective shift improves responsiveness, strengthens partnerships, and ultimately leads to better product outcomes.

As an engineering manager, I believe empathy is the glue that holds teams together. It turns individual contributors into a cohesive unit, drives better decision-making, and improves collaboration across departments. By fostering an environment where empathy is encouraged, we create teams that don’t just deliver great products: they support and uplift each other along the way.